Anxiety in children

Children with problematic anxiety tend to experience high levels of anxiety across many facets of their lives. Is your child unable to complete homework tasks due to their anxiety? Are they having difficulty making or maintaining friendships? Do they frequently express anxiety about going to school, or are absent from school due to anxiety? Are they frequently complaining of feeling sick/unwell? Is there anxiety stopping them from doing what they would like to do? (e.g. stay over at friends’ places, playing sport, going swimming). Is your child so anxious that they are frequently losing sleep, or need to sleep in the same room as you or another family member?

If other children their age are not displaying the same sorts of thoughts or behaviours, then your child’s anxiety may be problematic. For example, children between the ages of 6 months to 6 years often show distress upon separation from their parents. However, children of 10 years of age usually do not become distressed when separating from parents.

Anxiety is problematic when children experience high levels of distress because of it. Is your child becoming extremely upset when faced with their fear? Are they enduring anxiety-provoking activities with a high level of distress? For example, a child with social fears may cry whilst having to participate in a group activity. Is your child frequently having meltdowns at the prospect of, for example, going to school, being away from you or home, or having to mix with other children?

If your child’s anxious behaviour has caused significant distress and interference in their life on more days than not, it may indicate that they need some assistance. Has your child been displaying anxious behaviour for quite some time, and has this behaviour been constant? For example, if a child was anxious for one week whilst away at camp but has been fine since, it’s unlikely that this child would require further assistance.

For some children, fears and anxieties can have a significant impact on the way they perform at school, on their ability to make or maintain friends, and on their family life. Children who experience problematic anxiety generally meet several of the descriptions below:

• they are extremely well behaved at school and tend not to bother anyone.
• they avoid trying new things even when safe or fun.
• they tend to become distressed by normal changes, breaks from routine, or taking risks.
• they become upset (e.g. cry) very easily.
• they have a tendency to highlight the negative consequences of any situation, e.g. ‘all the kids will hate me’, ‘mum and dad will have an accident and die’.
• they avoid situations or objects they fear, e.g. a child with social anxiety will avoid attending parties or participating in groups.
• physical complaints are common. Because some children don’t have the vocabulary or awareness to describe their anxiety they may express it via physical symptoms such as feeling sick, having a lump in their throat, or sore shoulders from muscle tension.
• they may ask many unnecessary questions and require constant reassurance.
• they may have difficulty separating from parents.
• they may be very clingy with a parent or loved one in situations outside home.
• they may repeatedly have worries about school at the beginning of each term or each Monday.
• they may avoid unfamiliar situations, become sick, not turn up or endure situations with significant distress.
• they often ask questions which begin with ‘what if…?’.
• they may be perfectionistic, taking excessive time to complete homework because they try to get it absolutely correct.
• they may have difficulty sleeping, taking a long time to get to sleep or waking during the night and needing comfort from parents.
• they can be argumentative (but rarely aggressive) if trying to avoid a feared situation.

Reprinted with permission from Lyneham, Heidi (2001) Clinic Outreach Programme for Anxious Kids (COPA-K) Macquarie University. www.psy.mq.edu